虽然我不是专业的老师,可是还是有一定信心点评一下这篇作文的
首先呢,单复数有一点点小问题,但是不会影响总体.思路是比较连贯的,意思大概也能表达的蛮清楚的.
我觉得你的主要问题是词汇不够等级,比如说so、because、and 这些基础词汇应该尽可能的改动,比如说:but i need to do it可以改成 i,nevertheless,need to do it
这只是一个例子,还有,多去看同义词替换,一个词语最好不要用多于两次
每段开头应该有清晰的叙述分段次,比如 to begin with,in the first place 等
chief and head 应该改成vital,这是个美国佬爱用的词
然后teachers teach lessens very quickly
最好改为teachers are able to teach lessens very quickly
I don't have time to think,太chinglish了.
总体还是可以的,30分满分,可以拿到大概22分的样子,还需努力呀!
一篇托福独立作文,能帮我打下分么
一篇托福独立作文,能帮我打下分么
When it comes to the issue whether technology has made children less creative than they were in the past or not,different people hold different view.If I were faced the same question,I may agree that the technology does have negative effects on juveniles' creativity.In the following part of the article,I would like to reason and provide evidence to support my opinion.
The main reason I can not neglect is that many high technology products take up lots of our spare time so we don't have enough time to do anything relate to creation.Since the invention of high technique products like personal computer ,children are addicted to computer games and spend considerable time on them,which differs from the lives when there have not been these products.In the past,they used to read books and played in nature which might be good for their creativity.For example,Newtom found the law of gravity while he sat under an apple tree,and if a computer had been invented,he might stay in his room and use computer and wouldn't have that chance.
Another chief and head reason I has chosen to put here is that the exsitence of technology weakens our motivation to create new things.Because we have all things we need,it seems to be not necessary for us to be creativity.Let me take the steam engine as an example.Before the appearance of steam engine,the factories needed lots of workers to work for them,it's the demanding of new power attributed to the inventing of steam engine.Therefore,the lack of technology is the incentive for us to enhance our ability of creation.
The last but not the least reason is really personal,for me,the modern way of teaching by using PPT is not suitable.By using PPT,teachers teach lessens very quickly,as a result,I don't have time to think,to some extent,it reduce my creativity.
In a nutshell,it is suffices to say that modern technology can weaken children's ability of creation for the reasons I have mentioned above.
When it comes to the issue whether technology has made children less creative than they were in the past or not,different people hold different view.If I were faced the same question,I may agree that the technology does have negative effects on juveniles' creativity.In the following part of the article,I would like to reason and provide evidence to support my opinion.
The main reason I can not neglect is that many high technology products take up lots of our spare time so we don't have enough time to do anything relate to creation.Since the invention of high technique products like personal computer ,children are addicted to computer games and spend considerable time on them,which differs from the lives when there have not been these products.In the past,they used to read books and played in nature which might be good for their creativity.For example,Newtom found the law of gravity while he sat under an apple tree,and if a computer had been invented,he might stay in his room and use computer and wouldn't have that chance.
Another chief and head reason I has chosen to put here is that the exsitence of technology weakens our motivation to create new things.Because we have all things we need,it seems to be not necessary for us to be creativity.Let me take the steam engine as an example.Before the appearance of steam engine,the factories needed lots of workers to work for them,it's the demanding of new power attributed to the inventing of steam engine.Therefore,the lack of technology is the incentive for us to enhance our ability of creation.
The last but not the least reason is really personal,for me,the modern way of teaching by using PPT is not suitable.By using PPT,teachers teach lessens very quickly,as a result,I don't have time to think,to some extent,it reduce my creativity.
In a nutshell,it is suffices to say that modern technology can weaken children's ability of creation for the reasons I have mentioned above.
其他人气:566 ℃时间:2020-05-06 15:58:11
优质解答
我来回答
类似推荐
猜你喜欢
- 1一个盒子里装有黄,白乒乓球各5个,要想使取出的乒乓球中一定有两个黄色球,则至少应
- 2当主语为第三人称单数时must后面动词变不变
- 3分子不是在永不停息的做无规则运动吗?那么如果不受力,分子会怎么样?
- 4一艘轮船从河里驶进海洋,受到的重力大小_____,受到的浮力_____,排开水的体积__
- 5已知角1和角2互为补角,角2的一半比角1小30°,求角1,角2各多少度?
- 6已知定点A(−2,3),F是椭圆x216+y212=1的右焦点,在椭圆上求一点M,使|AM|+2|MF|取得最小值.
- 7钟面上共有12个数字,改变钟面上的数,使其变为6个奇数或6个偶数,在某些数之前加上负号,使其总和为0
- 8This shirt is too big .Would you mind going me a small one.改错
- 91.x+y=a,xy=b 求X2次方+y2次方 x3次方+y3次方 x4次方+y4次方 x5次方+y5次方 2.x+x分之一=3
- 10He runs ___fast for ___to catch up with