求大神批改雅思作文~能告诉我大概的分数和需要努力的方向吗?

求大神批改雅思作文~能告诉我大概的分数和需要努力的方向吗?
作文题目是：Some people think university education should prepare students for employment while others think I should help students acquire theoretical knowledge.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
正文：In the present days,there are many debates on the characteristic of university education.Some people agree that guidance and help about recruitment should be given to students by universities,while others believe that universities should help students grasp theoretical knowledge.From my personal view,I think university education should be of both these two functions.
Personally I admitted the importance of universities in teaching theoretical knowledge.The higher education,firstly,is responsible for offering fundamental knowledge and skills to students within a certain field of discipline.Only good preparation of theoretical knowledge could pave the way for an ideal job,otherwise students may not have the basics to actual works and even chances to employment,either.
But still,it does not mean that universities could oversee the essential role of vocational training.Students should have theoretical knowledge as well as the experience in practice.Thus universities are of the responsibility to train students in actual works together with the learned theories,and students would be relatively smart in handling difficulties that appear in reality.The earlier students familiar to actual works,the more competitive they would be in the future.
Overall,my opinion is that universities should prepare graduates who are qualified both theoretically and empirically.In this way,universities would contribute a lot toward the individual and social advancement.