我需要两篇 英语 小短文 不要太长 有翻译

（1）
1 Chinese New Year
Chinese New Year is the most important festival for Chinese people all over the world.It is also called the Spring Festival or the Lunar New Year.The exact date of the Spring Festival on the Western calendar changes from year to year.However,Chinese New Year takes place between January 1 and February 19.
On the Chinese calendar every year has an animal's name.These animals are the rat,ox,tiger,rabbit,dragon,snake,horse,ram,monkey,rooster,dog and pig.A Chinese legend says that these twelve animals had a race.The first year was named after the rat,the winner.The other eleven years were named according to the order in which the animals arrived in the race.The clever rat jumped onto the ox's back,and then at the end jumped over the ox's head to arrive first!
The Chinese believe that a person born in a particular year has some of the characteristics of that animal.
翻译
1个中国新年
Chinese新年是全世界中国人民的最重要的节日.它也称春节或月球新年.春节的确切的日期在西部日历的每年改变.然而,中国新年发生在1月1日和2月19日之间.
On中国日历每年有动物的名字.这些动物是鼠、黄牛、老虎、兔子、龙、蛇、马、公羊、猴子、雄鸡、狗和猪.中国传奇说这十二个动物有种族.第一年以鼠,优胜者命名.其他十一年根据动物在种族到达的命令被命名了.聪明的鼠跳在黄牛的上,在末端然后跳过黄牛的头到达先!
The汉语相信出生一特殊年人有某些那个动物的特征.
（2）
2 A Teenager's Joke:Guidelines for Doing Schoolwork
My school had a policy about homework.Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night doing homework.This is how I use the time for my work.
Fifteen minutes looking for assignment; Eleven minutes calling a friend for the assignment; Twenty three minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and does not like teenagers; Eight minutes in the bathroom; Ten minutes getting a snack; Seven minutes checking the TV Guide;
Six minutes telling my parents that the teacher never explained the assignment;
Ten minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.
翻译
2个少年的笑话：做的Schoolwork指南
My学校有关于家庭作业的一项政策.学生不应该度过超过每做家庭作业的晚的九十分钟.这是我怎么使用我的工作的时期.寻找任务的Fifteen分钟; 告诉十一的分钟任务的一个朋友; 解释老师为什么的二十三分钟是手段,并且不喜欢少年; 八分钟在卫生间里; 得到快餐的十分钟; 检查电视指南的七分钟;
Six周详告诉我的父母老师未曾解释任务;
Ten周详在厨房用桌等待的妈妈或爸爸要做任务的坐.